Coming soon · Book Profile
Permission to Feel
A Yale emotion scientist argues that giving ourselves and others permission to feel—and learning five concrete emotion skills—transforms our health, relationships, learning, and success.
A profile of this book is on the way.
What it’s about
Drawing on decades of research and his own harrowing childhood, Marc Brackett makes the case that emotions are information, not noise, and that the ability to recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate feelings is a learnable skill set as vital as literacy or numeracy. Permission to Feel walks readers through the RULER framework, showing how emotions shape attention, decision making, relationships, health, and creativity, and how becoming an 'emotion scientist' rather than an 'emotion judge' unlocks well-being at home, in school, and at work. Blending scientific evidence, practical tools like the Mood Meter and the Meta-Moment, and moving real-life stories, the book offers a roadmap for individuals and institutions to build emotionally intelligent cultures and, ultimately, launch an 'emotion revolution.'
The through-line
- Who it’s for
- A person—parent, teacher, leader, or anyone—who wants to understand their feelings and thrive emotionally in relationships, work, and life.
- The problem
- They lack the vocabulary and skills to identify, express, and manage their emotions and those of others. They feel numb, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or ashamed, and often unseen or misunderstood.
- The plan
- Recognize what you and others are feeling.
- Understand the causes of those feelings.
- Label emotions with precise vocabulary.
- Express feelings appropriately in context.
- Regulate emotions using practical strategies and the Meta-Moment.
- The payoff
- Better health, decisions, and relationships. · Greater well-being, creativity, and performance. · Emotionally intelligent families, schools, and workplaces where people feel seen and valued.
See our guide
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Additional reading
- The Nicomachean Ethics · Aristotle
It provides the philosophical challenge that frames the entire book: the quest to manage our emotional life with intelligence.
- Frames of Mind · Howard Gardner
The book's theory of multiple intelligences, particularly the 'personal intelligences,' is cited as a key precursor to the concept of emotional intelligence.
- Civilization and Its Discontents · Sigmund Freud
Referenced to illustrate the historical and societal need to enforce rules from without to subdue and domesticate our inner emotional excesses.
- Learned Optimism · Martin Seligman
The research on optimism and pessimism as explanatory styles is central to the chapter on motivation, showing how a positive outlook contributes to success.
- Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience · Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
The concept of 'flow' is presented as the ultimate state of harnessing emotions in the service of performance and learning, representing emotional intelligence at its best.
- Bowling Alone · Robert Putnam
Cited as an acclaimed analysis of the fraying American social fabric and the decline in 'social capital,' providing a societal context for the book's concerns about social corrosion.
- I and Thou · Martin Buber
The book heavily uses Buber's philosophical distinction between 'I-You' (authentic connection) and 'I-It' (objectification) as a central framework for understanding the quality of relationships.
- The Prince · Niccolò Machiavelli
Provides the historical and philosophical basis for understanding the 'Machiavellian' personality type, one of the 'Dark Triad' of socially malevolent characters discussed in the book.
- A Secure Base · John Bowlby
Bowlby's foundational work on attachment theory is central to the book's discussion of how early parent-child relationships create a 'secure base' that shapes a person's relational style for life.
- The Roots of Evil · Ervin Staub
This book, by a psychologist who designed reconciliation programs in Rwanda, is cited to explain the psychological forces that lead to genocide and the 'Us vs. Them' mentality.